CHICAGO, IL — A new study says the average U.S. office collects one ounce of receipt paper every day. That adds up to 22 pounds in a year.
“That much paper fills a cabinet or wrecks an accountant’s patience,” said Dr. Marla Finch from the National Bureau of Pointless Documentation.
Freelancers face the same issue. A Brooklyn designer confessed she used old receipts to wallpaper her spare room. “It looked cheap,” she said, “until the ink smeared all over my wall.”
Environmental groups are furious. “Businesses destroy forests just to misplace receipts in Excel,” said a spokesperson from Trees Before Fees.
The government promised to respond. Instead, they canceled the first meeting because no one found the receipt for the coffee.
“If offices used SparkReceipt,” Dr. Finch explained, “we would save forests, money, and marriages.”
